{"product_id":"yeltsins-top-guy-parade-shirt","title":"Yeltsin's Top Guy Parade Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures all the medals pictured, proud shirt of the (formerly) Red Army's \"top guy.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou (probably): \"So like, I always think about Russia during the Soviet collapse. I really don't like oligarchies, and I disapprove of Boris Yeltsin's incompetence. But I would have loved to be probably in Russia around 1991. Like please, just hear me out, because I think I would have certainly been Yeltsin's top guy in 1991, probably. I would imagine. I did good in flag football in like the 6th grade; I think I would have been one of Yeltsin's top soldiers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ee-Girl: \"My ancestors were actually killed by the Russian invaders during the Second Chechen War.\" \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eyou: \"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWell see I would have probably protected them somehow. I'd have control of like a division of T-72s. For sure, your grandparents in Chechnya probably didn't even disapprove of Yeltsin or Putin and what they went on to do as much as I do. Essentially, I definitely would have been some sort of elite spetnaz or tank platoon commander, you know? I would have the Battle of Grozny totally under control if I had just been there.\" \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Americana Pipedream Apparel","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":48265569894641,"sku":"48265569894641","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":48265569927409,"sku":"48265569927409","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":48265569960177,"sku":"48265569960177","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Extra Large","offer_id":48265569992945,"sku":"48265569992945","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL","offer_id":48265570025713,"sku":"48265570025713","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0564\/7043\/8085\/files\/USSRMedalJacketFront.jpg?v=1780938647","url":"https:\/\/www.americanapipedream.com\/products\/yeltsins-top-guy-parade-shirt","provider":"Americana Pipedream Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}